Strange!!!
Last night I almost died trying to catch some sleep but in vain.Words would never stop pouring out of my mind in the night.I kept tossing and turning on the bed till dont know what time[the last I remember was 3:30am] and found myself snoring away to glory in the morning till 9:54am.Its only then that I realised that I was not present in my office but lucky enough to shove off the question when asked by my landlord by saying that it was Moharram.Strangely enough no words seem to be coming into my mind now!
Proudly recruited for company @ vacuum. ltd[hey thats a pseudoname ] and still waiting to stop the guilt of getting paid for no work.
I dont know whom to blame for the aggression thats eventually developing in my mind.I still wonder if I have started considering myself a weak link or am I still clinging on to my capability of self-endurance or perhaps,perseverence is the word that the saints might tell me if I happen to visit one.
Now a days I find myself getting irritated with everything that goes on around me.The auto strike,travelling by jam-packed buses,hunting for a system,looking at ravi’s face,looking at my office logo…everything almost everything…I hate walking on the footpath because I dont want to see a disgusting view of men pissing on the walls,jumping over drunkards lying on the way,bumping into people walking in the opposite direction.Heck..for once I want to blame it on somebody else for all this other than the system.I force myself to ignore these hard-core facts because I definitely cant expect Manmohan Singh to come over and stop the man from crapping on the wall,removing the drunkards from the footpath or the sorts.
Paulo Coelho in Alchemist says that if someone desires something deeply,the entire universe conspires to help him achieve that[pardon the non-exact words] but it seems to be quite the opposite of that with me.The universe seems to be conspiring to take me the farthest away from my desire.I think I should cling on to my optimism about what the author has said in the novel.Optimism seems to be the only survival base for my mind that keeps fluctuating between the confidence on my abilities and the diffidence infused by the circumstances.
Well the good thing is that I’m adopting new interests which I think in some way may take me to some height somewhere.Uncertainty personified hah! Have started reading a lot of business magazines,solving 10 sudoku problems a day,watching KBC[boy, will do anything to watch it.m not a SRK fan] and reading novels during breaks from introspection [frankly speaking the introspection is all about avoiding depression which I am prone to at the present moment blah..sounds like a desperate loser].
And now I feel a lot better…but better for what I dont know..probably because a part of my mind that stayed pre-occupied is relieved.And I am also glad that I succeeded in avoiding to become a downtrodden who is markedly known as a branded creator of slangs.
If wishes were not horses…
My wishes for the year and afterwards which to come true is the biggest wish…
1-If only, the conductors of public transport buses could do something about taking as many persons in the bus as the number of seats so that fragile figures like me don’t get squeezed to death in a rush.[Recently while coming back from an interview in a jam-packed bus a man forced himself into the bus through the women’s entry gate. His belly bashed my face off, a standing woman’s “dash” off and so many others’ what not off while he was trying to cruise to the rear end where men generally queue up. Despite my blood-not-coming-out-ly bashed up face I couldn’t help laughing my lungs out at the vociferous women growling at the fat man].
2-Men should learn to preserve their perennial crotch scratching habit in public [especially in a jam-packed public bus] for their loos.
3-People should not change their cell numbers.If they do they should come and update the new number in my cell phone or send me a personalized sms rather than addressing it as “Hie all.Dis z my new no.Plz update n stay in touch. Hope u all r havin a nice tym.Luv u all.NAME”.For the kind information of those who may not know, my mobile number is personally as well as publicly and solely mine.
4-Men should start thinking that the streets, road-sides and bushes aren’t their branded toilets for instant use. Same applies for other species of animals who can’t think, unlike men.
5-People should stop chewing betel and other narcotics which arouse the salivary glands. If they can’t stop at least they should make sure that they carry disposable/non-disposable spitting containers with them and keep the city looking pretty.
6-People should stand by their word on matters related to time so that they leave home early for office/wherever thereby preponing traffic jam so that the roads are free when I go out. To make the wish more effective I have started doing the same. In fact its one of my resolutions.
7-My company should realize soon that its missing out on loads by not giving me a project to work on. If wishes are not horses then at least can I hope to see pigs flying?
